Letter to a fellow baller

I made an insensitive remark the other day. I didn’t do it on purpose, but after I said what I said it was obvious that I left room for misinterpretation.

Let me explain. I was playing basketball in Gregory Gym the other night, when a black guy on the other team stole the ball and broke for his team’s basket. I had an angle, and I was able to keep him from making his layup. But, he had about five inches of height on me, and he just kept tipping the ball way above my reach. When he finally tipped it in, I smiled and said, “Damn, I can’t get up there with you in the trees.” He laughed when I said that, but I soon realized that I had, in effect, called him a monkey. Of course, I would have only bumbled whitely if I had tried to clarify what I said, so I played the whole rest of the game not knowing whether or not he took offense. Since I might never talk to this guy again, I guess I’ll never know. If our paths do cross, though, I’m going to whip out this letter and point it in his direction. I feel the need to apologize and explain myself:

Dear friend,

Do you remember me? We played basketball the other day in Gregory, and I was the goofy looking kid who wore spectacles and a sick And1 headband. I also have a tendency to crash the boards, and at one point, you illustrated how much easier this game is for you by playing volleyball at another altitude.

I’m writing because I just wanted to apologize for what I said after you got that tip in. I meant to make a joke emphasizing the fact that you are five inches taller than me, but I’m afraid it came out wrong. I’m afraid that you thought I was playing up the jungle stereotype that so many white racists have used over the years, and I’m sorry.

On the other hand, you may not have been offended. You never said anything about it, and I didn’t pick up any hints that you were angry. I just have a rather terminal case of what is called white liberal guilt as a result of the continuing oppression of minorities in this country. Therefore, this whole letter is little more than a self-serving, conscience-clearing activity on my part, but I think a few things need to be said about America’s races.

Today, we white people act as if racism died in the South quite a few years ago, when in fact all statistics indicate that our society is getting less and less equal. We get defensive at the suggestion that there is any difference between the races, wishing and pretending that we are all the same instead of celebrating human diversity. White people have never been pulled over for no reason, have rarely been the only individual of their race in any situation, and have seldom understood just how much we’ve messed up the world. And yet, we think we can speak intelligently about the complexities of being black in this country because we’ve heard the latest Jay-Z song.

Anyways, I just felt the need to tell you all this because I think all whites need to accept just how much damage we’ve done and continue to do so before any real gains are made. It is white America that has always refused to cast down its bucket, and it is white America that will continue its apartheid until it does so. That’s why I owe you an apology.